


Case Closed

by purecamp



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Detectives, F/F, Police, brooklyn 99 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purecamp/pseuds/purecamp
Summary: Alaska really likes annoying her coworker and fellow detective, Sharon. They have this bet going, and she's definitely gonna win. But it's not like she likes her or anything. Not like that.
Relationships: Sharon Needles/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Case Closed

It was a perfectly normal day in the precinct and Alaska was forty minutes late to work.

In some of her previous jobs, such as waitressing in that horrible little restaurant or working as a store clerk as a teenager, being forty minutes late would almost certainly mean being fired. However, Alaska revelled in the fact that she would most definitely not be fired for her tardiness, and she grinned proudly as she was met with polite applause.

The gentleman who she led in with cuffs behind her didn’t seem quite so receptive to her hero’s welcome.

“Check out this punk,” Alaska announced to the room. “Busted with two hundred kilos of cocaine in his storage unit and found to be the asshole behind that huge drug ring we’ve been tracking. Proud of yourself, bud?”

As expected, her roughed-up drug dealer said nothing, staring fixedly at his reflection in the handcuffs.

“Good work, Detective Thunder.” Captain Tidicue nodded, impressed. “Take him to the holding cell, meeting in five minutes in the break room. Dismissed.”

It was a perfectly normal day, Alaska’s perp was in the holding cell, and as she stepped into the break room, she bumped shoulders with Jinkx.

“Detective Tsunami.”

“Detective Lightning.”

Jinkx’s smile, as always, seemed to stretch from ear to ear and her lipstick was eerily red. Captain Tidicue had tried a few times to get her to tone down the brightness of her makeup, but eventually she had gotten so fond of Jinkx that she let the matter go entirely. Jinkx seemed to get away with a lot of things in that way, and Alaska loved her for it. As a matter of fact, so did the rest of the squad.

Captain Tidicue closed the door behind them and took her place at the front of the room. There was absolutely nothing extraordinary about a normal morning briefing, even if Alaska had been forty minutes late. That happened sometimes and nobody minded. Everything was normal.

“Good morning everybody. I wanted to let you know that we’ll be welcoming a new detective to our squadron beginning today. She’s experienced and smart and she just moved into the area, I think she’ll be a good addition to our team. I want you all to welcome her.” Tidicue smiled. “I know you will. Let her adapt to our ways, yeah? Make her one of us. Anyway, Detective Needles is on her way now. Dismissed.”

She headed off, leaving the rest of the team to break out into excited discussions, with zero intention of running straight to their desks. Jinkx turned to Alaska with a loud laugh.

“Short, sweet, concise. Never thought I’d see that from a New Yorker.” She quipped.

Alaska chuckled. “Okay, Chicago, calm down.”

“Whatever, Pennsylvania.” Jinkx paused. “Fuck, that isn’t nearly as insulting even though we’re just naming states.”

From across the room, Sergeant Royale beckoned the two of them over, where she was chatting with Detectives Velour, Coulee and Michaels. Inexplicably, Willam, the notoriously work-shy secretary, had also managed to sneak her way in and was perched on the table, right in the midst of the conversation.

“So! New detective, huh? Things are getting exciting round here.” Latrice fought back her laugh as Alaska, rising to the bait despite knowing it had been laid there just to get her, opened her mouth.

“Hey! I literally just busted a massive drug trafficking ring! Is that not exciting?” 

The squad laughed, and Alaska acquiesced with a giggle. “But seriously? Detective Needles? Do you think she’s just really good at drug cases or what?”

A new voice appeared suddenly. “Well, yeah. But unfortunately that’s my actual name.”

Alaska whirled around and promptly smashed foreheads with possibly the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. The woman in question reeled backwards slightly and started to rub her head, but offered her hand and a charming smile regardless.

“Detective Needles. Your story is pretty impressive, I’m sorry that my name is stealing your thunder.”

Alaska started to giggle in spite of herself. “Oh my god, this is brilliant. Hi, Detective Needles, I’m Detective Thunder.”

“You’re shitting me. That’s such a fucking cool name.”

“And Needles isn’t?”

“Yours is cooler.”

“No way!” Alaska faced her colleagues again. “Am I really arguing with someone about whose name is cooler and I’m not on my own side? Jinkx, slap me.”

Jinkx raised her hand. “Gladly!”

Before she could deliver what was sure to be an almighty sobering smack, Latrice butted in with a calming hand and her ever-diplomatic ways. “The only way to solve this is by first names. At the same time, go.”

“Alaska.”

“Sharon. Fuck!”

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest as Alaska celebrated her victory. “God, I hate my parents right now. They gave me the most suburban white mom name ever.”

Thus began Alaska’s first triumph over Sharon Needles. Sharon Needles, who was a detective, who would be working a few feet across the room from her now, who was surprisingly tall and with dark curls that really suited her face and eyes that were surprisingly sparkly even though she seemed like she would be quite intimidating in the interrogation room and a leather jacket that made her look so badass and-

Detective Needles made quite a strong impression on that perfectly normal day.

-

It turned out that Detectives Thunder and Needles worked together like a dream. Alaska called them thick as thieves, once, and Sharon proceeded to double over in incredulous laughter that her partner hadn’t even noticed her own hilariously unintentional joke.

Usually, Captain Tidicue would assign Alaska to work with Jinkx, given the close nature of their friendship, but seeing Sharon’s arrest numbers at a similar rate to Alaska’s, she had decided they could work the case together instead. It was almost like she didn’t know they had an unspoken bet about who was going to get more, and that it was actually a very spoken bet that was being monitored daily by tally marks on the whiteboard and was currently tied. 

And she almost definitely did know about the bet, because there was no way Latrice hadn’t told her.

“Okay. I think, when we catch this guy, we both add a point to our list of arrests since we did it together. That cool?”

Sharon laughed. “Ooh, feeling nervous? You want to keep us on an equal playing ground, huh?”

“No, I just don’t wanna hurt your feelings,” She teased, “I know you’re a little sensitive. You need these arrests to make you feel cool.”

“I’m already cool.”

Alaska snorted. “Right, sure. I did some sneaky detective work and found out your favourite show is Jeopardy.”

Sharon frowned at her, the mirth evident behind her eyes. “You mean, you followed my Twitter? Also, Jeopardy is a great show, and if I was straight, I’d go for Alex Trebek in a heartbeat.”

They were nestled in a discreet car to help them blend into the city, dressed casually to avoid arousing suspicion. When Sharon rocked up in leopard print and leather, Alaska had first mercilessly mocked her before admitting that she was highly impressed by the choice of attire, and wished her jeans were quite as bold. Naturally, Sharon gave as good as she got. 

Still, they had been getting bored waiting for their suspect to turn up around town, and had taken to mindless conversation. It was beginning to get… interesting.

“Alex Trebek?! Sharon, he’s like ninety.”

“He’s seventy nine!” Sharon shrugged, and then chuckled and conceded. “He’s a total zaddy, okay, you wouldn’t get it. Anyway, he’s a man so I’m not actually into him, and no one will believe that I told you this so you have zero leverage.”

Alaska leant back in her chair, keeping her eyes on the street. “Well, if you can hold that against me, I can do that too. I used to be terrified of Marilyn Manson as a child, but then when I was a preteen - so before I was gay - I had a crush on him. There. Something no one will believe.”

Sharon gasped. “You monster. I’m dying to use that against you!”

“Well, you can’t.”

“I can’t believe you’re aroused by scary people. Do you jack it to Freddy Kreuger or something?”

“This is getting weird.”

“Agreed.” Sharon held up her hands. “In all fairness, you took it there, not me. So, we should quickly go over the plan because the asshole just turned up for his shift at the store, fifteen minutes after it should’ve started.”

She pointed. A tall, balding white man was entering the run-down convenience store, his bright employee vest halfheartedly tucked into his baggy trousers. Alaska looked down at their case file and nodded.

“Alright. Darren Jones, you’re going down. Sharon, tell me your fake name and invent a story to go with it, I like a bit of storytelling. Adds some pizazz to the case.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and giggled. “You’re the world’s most immature detective. We don’t need to go undercover for this.”

Alaska raised an eyebrow. “It’s fun, Needles. Much more fun than watching episodes of Jeopardy.”

“Rude, but fine. My name is Sarah Anne Jefferson and I’m visiting from Iowa, I have an addiction to cigarettes and I need the store clerk to search all the way at the back of the shelf for the good ones, because I may be desperate but I’m still picky and that bullshit fake excuse means he’ll have to face away from us so we can surround him. I also happen to be very conversational and may casually ask him about his weekend during my rambling about my dumb boyfriend Brad, who’s from California.”

Alaska shuddered, snapping the case file shut. “I don’t know what’s worse, California or Iowa. Gross.”

Sharon winked, and Alaska maybe found it a little bit hot. “Iowa. I grew up there, it’s terrible. The town I lived in is famous for dryers and meth. A great combo.”

“I’d argue California is still worse.”

“You’re right.” Sharon undid her seatbelt. “Okay. Detective Thunder, you’re heading to the back of the store so that you can search for the milk and sneak round so we got him on both sides and he can’t run. You ready?”

Alaska winked back. “Born ready, baby.”

So what if Alaska became a detective just to pretend she was one of those badass cops from a movie? It was worth it - she could protect civilians, take down bad guys and pretend to be a cool movie cop, all at the same time.

She browsed the store idly, waiting until she heard Sharon enter the store and began listening for her cue. Darren Jones was connected to a series of robberies around the area, and despite his penchant for breaking into places without witnesses, the guy was a total dunce. Each of his crime scenes had several valuable items stolen, all of which had been recovered in his apartment earlier that day, and he was stupid enough to leave fingerprints all over the items and the crime scene.

He was a terribly unskilled criminal, that was for sure. Whilst Alaska loved cracking the difficult cases, this one had been pretty fun. It was like watching a child blundering their way through college. He had no idea what he was doing, and it was an easy arrest. 

“Hi there! My name’s Sarah Anne, sweetie, y’all got cigarettes in here? Oh, perfect, thank you so much. Listen, I know this is an odd request, but do you mind digging for the ones at the back of the top shelf? They’re always better when the air can’t get to ‘em, you know?”

Alaska held her breath, fighting not to laugh as Sharon exaggerated her Iowan accent. There was nothing… objectively funny about the accent, just that fact that it was Sharon’s but stronger and the fact that Sharon seemed to work so hard to convince everyone of how much she loved Pittsburgh when she had lived there. She almost always sounded like she was born there, except for now.

Nobody else would find it funny. But Alaska knew her and Sharon would laugh about it later, because they had great banter and no one else could stop them. She crept further along the aisles, inching closer to the cashier desk, listening.

“-asshole boyfriend Brett convinced me to smoke them like that years ago and I always do now. He was here all weekend, driving me nuts. Did you get busy this weekend?”

Alaska readied herself, the signal having been sent. The idiot cashier/criminal kept his back turned as he responded, allowing Alaska to position herself behind him on the other side of Sharon.

“Oh, not really, just hung out at home…”

He trailed off when he saw their police badges glinting in his direction.

“NYPD, you’re under arrest for three robberies. Darren Jones, you did have a busy weekend, huh?” 

It was highly unprofessional, but Alaska still offered a high-five on the way back to the car, dragging the cuffed Darren behind them, and Sharon still accepted it.

“I thought your asshole boyfriend was Brad? You said Brett.”

“Did I? Oh, I’m cheating on Brett with Brad. They don’t know about each other.”

“Depth! Nice, I love it. Real fleshed out character.”

“Shut up.” Sharon started the car. “So, one more arrest for me since I said the words, so that’s 25 to Needles and 24 to Thunder-”

Immediately, Alaska had to protest. “What?! No, we agreed to split it. A point each, he was an easy one.”

Sharon fiddled with her badge, deep in thought. “Okay, fine. We need some stakes, though.”

“I’m vegetarian.”

“No, not steaks! Stakes!”

“The things you kill vampires with?”

“No! Like, a reason for our bet.” Sharon’s eyes glinted dangerously, and Alaska sucked in an excited breath. “Something that we want from each other. Personally, I want to crush your spirit.”

Alaska nodded. “Alright, nice. I also want to crush your spirit. Maybe we should be more specific.”

An idea started forming in Alaska’s head, and for once it felt like a pretty good one. Naturally, Alaska loved to embarrass and humiliate people, and she loved for people to bring her up in conversation all the time, and her idea would work perfectly for that. Plus, it would be hilarious, particularly for her, and it would make for one hell of a story.

“I got it. However, judging by the slight inclination of your head and the beginnings of a smirk on your face, you’ve got an idea. Hit me with it.”

Predictably, Sharon grinned. “Okay, Detective Alaska Thunder. When I win this bet, you have to watch reruns of Jeopardy with me, and you have to play along. No sitting and saying it’s boring, or dorky-”

“It is dorky.”

“-Didn’t ask - you have to answer questions or rag on the idiots who answer the questions wrong with me. Full involvement, it’s my favourite show.”

As she resisted calling Sharon a dork for the second time (she really was a complete dork beneath her incredible cop/badass persona), Alaska hissed outwardly. She really didn’t want to watch some stupid quiz show, not when there were so many better things on TV these days. For example, Golden Girls reruns. 

“Fine.” Alaska smiled. “I think it’s adorable how you used when and not if. So, when I win this bet, you…”

She held her breath for dramatic effect, watching as Sharon playfully rolled her eyes.

“…Will go on a date with me. And it will be the worst date of your life. I will make sure of it.”

Sharon made a disbelieving face. “Yeah, right. I had a date once where the girl spilled her entire glass of red wine onto my dress and then cried for two hours about her ex, who it turned out she had invited to the restaurant so that she could beg her to get back together. Nothing can top that.”

Alaska sucked in a breath. “Oooh. One, that’s terrible, and two, you just set the highest bar for this date and that is going to be your downfall. I will humiliate you, Needles. You just wait and see.”

“You’re on.”

-

A few weeks passed. Alaska took a considerable lead, and swanned into the precinct every morning with the arrogance level of, according to Captain Tidicue, a peacock who had stumbled into a Las Vegas dressing room. No one had been quite sure about whether that was a compliment or not, judging by her stony, passive face, until it suddenly morphed into a cartoonish grin and they swiftly left the briefing room amid terrified laughter. 

Then, Sharon’s arson case took an interesting turn and Alaska watched, green with envy and competitive spirit, as she made six arrests in one day and started closing the gap between them.

“That’s how you do it, Thunder.” Sharon mimed injecting into her forearm, which in hindsight was probably a little inappropriate, but only Alaska saw it, and she didn’t give a shit.

“Do what, Needles? Get a crippling addiction?”

Sharon shrugged. “I guess I’m just addicted to justice, baby. You better start reading up on your trivia.”

She took off with an infuriating amount of swagger, even worse than that of a Las Vegas peacock.

“That was a fucking fantastic line, Alaska.”

“Shut up, Jinkx.”

-

“Ladies and gentlemen of our squad, no need to be alarmed, but this is just a reminder for Detective Sharon Needles to clear her calendar for our deadline, because she’s looking at a brilliant officer who just took her total up to 41, dwarfing your measly little 37.”

Latrice high-fived Alaska, and Sharon groaned. “Seriously? What the fuck, how?”

“Simple theft case turned murder investigation, naturally. Gang crime. Boom!”

At Detective Michaels’ stern face, she deflated slightly. “Okay. Gang crime and murder isn’t cool nor acceptable to celebrate in the workplace, however, I am winning.”

-

It was 11pm, which meant that Sharon had definitely missed that night’s Jeopardy episode, and yet Alaska noted that it didn’t even seem like she cared. Maybe that was her professionalism, given that they were on a short stakeout waiting for a drug deal to go down so that they could rush in and arrest the guys, but whatever. She hadn’t even mentioned it, and they had been talking a lot.

Jinkx had been Alaska’s best friend ever since she joined the precinct as a new officer. They had connected so well, and it almost felt like they were easy best friends within a week or two. But it wasn’t quite like that with Sharon.

If anything, it was totally the opposite. They got along extremely well, but it wasn’t the kind of easy-going friendship that she shared with Jinkx, not at all. Of course, they talked personally the same way, and argued and laughed and cooperated the same way, but being around Sharon didn’t feel easy. It felt… exciting, almost. Invigorating. 

Perhaps it was the thrill of a new friend, coupled with an exciting job and a fantastic work relationship.

“It’s getting late, I hope this drug deal happens before three in the fucking morning. I’d love to get some sleep tonight.” Alaska groaned, sitting down on a plastic chair beside Sharon. She had perched on an overturned storage container, as apparently the roof of the building they were staked out on didn’t have much in the way of garbage removal.

“We can take shifts, if you like? If it gets real late and we’re exhausted, I mean. I’d happily take first watch.”

Sharon tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Alaska watched her with a soft smile. “I can’t let you do that, Needles, that’s not fair. But, I did bring snacks, so that should give us some energy. How do you feel about…”

She dug into her bag. “Uh, off-brand chocolate counter things? I hear they’re pretty good… probably.”

In the moonlight, Sharon’s skin looked almost blue, like a nymph. Her quiet giggle was mesmerising after the awkward silence of an abandoned industrial site.

“I won’t turn them down.”

They kept watch, determined not to miss any minor discrepancies that would reveal their perpetrator in the midst of the darkness. All they needed was one damning deal, some incriminating photographs, and they could make their arrest and still get a good night’s sleep.

In the meantime, they had their ways of entertaining themselves. Namely, telling horrific jokes, and attempting to catch chocolate counters in their mouths, at which Sharon was awful.

Yet another victory Alaska could laud over her.

She doubled over in laughter as Sharon kept trying, missing by miles and in turn, collapsing into giggles. Her head was bent at all kinds of strange angles as she kept going, the counters flying everywhere but her mouth, even pinging off the edge of the roof. The closest she came was landing smack on the middle of Sharon’s forehead, which she counted as a win, and Alaska counted as a complete and utter fail.

“I can’t fathom someone being that bad at catching them in your mouth! It’s so easy!” Alaska wheezed. “Look, let me show you.”

Sharon stood up. “Fine, fine, you gotta teach me. As soon as I throw it, I can’t see it anymore! I don’t get your game, Thunder!”

Alaska stood in front of her, close so that Sharon could watch. She quite liked being taller than her partner - it meant Sharon had to look up to her, just like she would be when Alaska won their bet. It must’ve been a humbling feeling, Alaska assumed. 

“See? Watch.” She flicked the counter into the air and caught it deftly on her tongue. “Easy. Challenge mode, throw me more than one. Get a good handful or something.”

Sharon’s hand was already reaching into the bag. “You’re never gonna get all these. Nobody’s that good.”

“Try me.”

The handful rained down out of nowhere, and needless to say, Sharon’s cackles of delight made the meagre one counter that she managed to catch seem a little better. A good amount of them had fallen onto her face, anyway, so by Sharon’s standards, that must count as a win.

“I concede, you’re the chocolate champion. Congrats.” Sharon grinned. 

Bowing, Alaska offered her most dazzling smile. “Told you I’m amazing.”

“And you have chocolate on your face. Real dignified.”

“Ha! You’re bluffing.”

“No, I’m serious!” Sharon’s eyes sparkled with humour. “Let me get it.”

She closed the tiny gap between them and stepped closer, Alaska again noting the slight height difference between them and how kind and sweet the moonlight made Sharon’s features appear. Her eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed as she reached an admittedly cold hand towards Alaska’s lips. Everything seemed to happen agonisingly slow, as she gently brushed her thumb over the corner of Alaska’s mouth and her expression softened. In the background, Alaska heard a car door shut. She never wanted to take her eyes away from Sharon in the moment, but regrettably found herself doing so.

“I think that’s our guy.”

She sighed, internally cursing herself over and over as they each took a step backwards, Sharon coughing and righting herself with a nod. “Right. Armed and ready?”

Alaska nodded, confused about why she felt so disappointed. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

-

They caught the guys red-handed. Alaska said the words, so she took credit for the arrests. 

Sharon rewrote the scores on the board and blew raspberries at her. Detective Velour suggested that Sharon had sunk to Alaska levels of childishness, to which she received a high-five from most of the other detectives, some laughs of agreement, and one outraged huff followed by a much louder raspberry than Sharon’s had been.

-

When Alaska got to her desk, Jinkx was already there waiting. She held a case file between her fingers and she tapped her foot impatiently as Alaska sat down and looked at her.

“Tidicue just thanked Sharon for the two of you offering to take that drug stakeout and rejecting the backup offer.”

Alaska shrugged. “That was nice of her.”

Jinkx pressed on. “She seemed a little confused. Almost as if she didn’t know that the two of you volunteered, or that there was a backup team. I didn’t pry, but I saw her face. Just wondering when you were planning on admitting that you like her.”

Something about the accusation made Alaska feel a little hot under the collar. What the hell was Jinkx trying to imply? That she liked Sharon? It made no sense. Alaska took comfort in how absurd it was.

“Of course I like Sharon,” She chose to respond, deliberately ignoring the obvious implication. “She’s a great detective and a good friend. We didn’t need backup, so I didn’t ask for it.”

Inexplicably, Jinkx’s eye roll was almost audible. “Or you were just enjoying your alone time…”

Alaska looked at her screen. Her computer was open and unlocked, as she’d left it, and there was a form that needed filling in before she got started on some of her paperwork that had been piling up on her desk. Really, she needed to get a move on with it all. Jinkx was highly unprofessional for interrupting her. Alaska had never done that to anyone before, of course.

“I have work to do, shut up. It wasn’t alone time, it was a stakeout! We were literally working together, as colleagues.” Alaska sent back an eye roll of her own. “I don’t like Sharon that way, she’s not my type. Don’t make it weird.”

From behind her, someone cleared their throat. Alaska spun in her chair and found Sharon having just approached, tucking her hair behind her ears and smiling awkwardly. “Tidicue said we should split the paperwork. I just came to pick up my half.”

She gathered some of the files from the desk in a few seconds and left with another brief smile. Alaska watched her go, then turned and met eyes with Jinkx, who was nothing if not a picture of smugness.

“See? We’re professionals.” Alaska retorted.

Jinkx shrugged. “Sure. Okay. I believe you. Just putting it out there that you seem so determined to win the bet and make the forfeit the worst date ever, you’re putting a lot of thought into this. But fine, I’ll leave you to it.”

As she slunk away, back to her own desk, Alaska swore she heard Jinkx humming a wedding march. 

-

“Hey, Sharon! Hey, glad I could catch you. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

The roof had quite the scenic view of the city. It wasn’t particularly high, but it gave a perfect vantage point of everything that Alaska considered essential to make up her home - graffiti, pigeons, dodgy food vendors and an every-man-for-himself attitude wrapped in an aura of grey bleakness. That being said, grimy and dark as it could sometimes be, there was a lot of life and colour and excitement in the city that could always be relied on to keep things interesting. As she joined Sharon by the edge of the brick wall, where she was absent-mindedly tapping off cigarette ash, they watched as passersby went about their days.

“I know you probably overheard a little of what Jinkx was saying to me, which was totally out of line, but I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t hurt your feelings or anything with what I said.”

Sharon looked pensive for a moment, then she took one final drag from her cigarette and stubbed it out before throwing it into the trash. Alaska felt strangely nervous as she waited for a response - apologies and humility were not really her style.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Sharon replied, amused. “I wasn’t hurt. My type isn’t really cocky, arrogant and goofy, so…”

Alaska laughed. “Right! Like, I’m just not into… I mean, you look like a nerdy dork who tried to reinvent herself as a biker chick by just wearing leather. Different personalities.”

“Exactly!” Sharon agreed with a smile. “You’re too blase for my tastes.”

“And you’re really Type A. Too strict for me. I don’t know what Jinkx is seeing, but she should get her eyes checked.”

Sharon giggled. “Alright, I’m going inside. You coming?”

Alaska watched a pigeon chase a man halfway down the street. “In a minute, you go ahead. I’m getting some fresh air.”

So, progress. This was good. Alaska had proved Jinkx wrong, and clarified in no uncertain terms that she didn’t like Sharon and that Sharon didn’t like her. But at the same time… cocky and arrogant. That struck a nerve, somehow. It wasn’t like her nature hadn’t been commented on before - hell, it was open game to everyone in the squad. They all knew that as a detective, and in general, Alaska was pretty lax and carefree and chilled out. But the fact that those qualities made her unattractive in Sharon’s eyes…

It wasn’t like Alaska wanted Sharon to like her, not in that way. It just… stung. It stung, and it had never stung before when others said it.

-

It was late. The shift was almost over, the clock edging towards midnight, and Alaska overall thought her day had been pretty good. There had been a long, tedious interrogation, but that had kept her entertained for long enough that the rest of the shift was pretty much smooth sailing. She had even had time to harmlessly prank Detective Coulée by covering her computer monitor in googly eyes, during which Latrice, her superior, and Detective Michaels, her moral superior, watched her with disapproving but amused stares.

When Sharon walked in, at two minutes to midnight, her smile lit up the room.

“Thunder, you got a pen? I need to update our arrest numbers.” She asked with a wink.

Alaska shrugged. “I never have a pen, Needles, but I know for a fact that you have one, so I see right through your little power-play.”

Sharon smirked. “Right. Just wanted to make you sweat a little, that’s all.”

She sauntered into the other room, pen in hand. Jinkx got up from her desk and scuttled across to Alaska’s, practically bouncing with excitement. Looking around the room, Alaska noticed that the rest of her colleagues were all watching her with anticipation, knowing what was about to happen. In response, Alaska just offered a grin and held her finger to her lips.

“You’re not gonna tell her?!” Jinkx scream-whispered.

Alaska shrugged again. “She can read, she’s a smart girl. Anyway, I want to hear how she reacts when she-”

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

As the room erupted into laughter, Alaska stood up in the midst of the desks and opened her arms wide. Perfectly on cue, when Sharon stepped out of the briefing room, Jinkx, Sasha and Latrice started releasing party poppers whilst Willam gladly helped Shea unfurl a banner proclaiming Alaska a champion. Detective Michaels, loathe to take part in the childishness of it all but still wanting to offer her support, broke into polite applause.

“Why the fuck is your count one higher than mine? We were tied, I was about to beat you, I-”

Sharon’s eyes fell on the parade and she shook her head. “How?! How?!”

As if rehearsed - although it wasn’t, as Alaska had asked and Captain Tidicue had insisted it would be funnier if it was entirely natural - Tidicue stepped out from her office and shook Alaska’s hand.

“Working with a bunch of children is definitely a challenge, but I enjoyed this little bet. It made two of my best detectives work harder than ever and, Detective Needles, you’ve helped to increase Detective Thunder’s productivity massively. She’s willingly completed paperwork because of you.”

Sharon’s jaw dropped. “But-!”

Alaska’s carefully timed alarm ticked over, and celebratory music cut Sharon’s protest off before it could even start. Deciding to add insult to injury, Alaska performed the most obnoxious victory dance she could think of.

“You see, my dear, dear colleague and close friend, whilst you were out today working your little detective socks off on your case, arresting your one suspect…” Alaska trailed off, leaving the room in gleeful suspense as she wheeled the whiteboard with their scores in, “I put away two guys. And now, since the clock has hit midnight, the bet is over and I have won. Ladies and gentlemen, the amazing Thunder wins again!”

Jinkx joined Alaska’s enthusiastic dance, but they stopped in unison when Alaska held out her hand for silence. “Now, I believe first of all you have a statement to announce?”

If looks could kill, Alaska would have happily died under Sharon’s murderous gaze. “You’re a great detective and you’re hot.”

“Hmm… a little louder. Also, that’s not what I texted you to say, so…”

Sharon shook her head. “I’m not saying it again, nor am I reading your horrendous text. It was scarring enough when I had to read it in my own head.”

Alaska raised her eyebrows in mock sympathy. “Aww. Listen, your terrible date starts now, and our first port of call is for you to do what I say in every humiliating way possible. Would you like a chair?”

“A… chair?”

“To stand on, so everyone can see and hear you.”

This had to be the best day of Alaska’s life. Nothing would compare to the pride and glee that she felt at dragging a plastic chair into the middle of the police station at midnight for Sharon to stand on. Every part of her indignance only made the experience more enjoyable. The rest of the officers rallied around Alaska in a crowd, palpably excited that the bet had finally come to its end.

Sharon read from her phone, and sighed audibly at the content. “I really don’t want to say this.”

“Come on, date-o-mine!” Alaska cajoled her. “Tell everyone what you really think!”

There was a long pause, and then Sharon began speaking in a loud, flat voice. “Attention, everyone! I have… an announcement to make. Alaska Elizabeth Joanne Thunder - that’s really your full name? - is the greatest detective known in this world, and in comparison to her, I am… I am a helpless misguided child. This… wonderful influence on my life will now take me on a date and teach me her mastermind ways.”

She paused and groaned. “I don’t wanna - I also would like to confess to the room the deep and embarrassing nature of my feelings for this heroic woman. She makes my pan- fucking hell I’m not saying that!”

“You can say basement.” Alaska interjected, as unhelpful as possible. “Keep going.”

“She makes my… basement flood, every day. It will be difficult to keep my hands off her tonight. Goodnight everyone.”

The room burst into laughter again, and Sharon stepped down from the chair and whacked Alaska’s arm with a nearby folder. It hurt more than she expected, but something about Sharon’s glare told Alaska to just laugh it off. Instead, she offered a charming smile and handed a plastic bag over.

“Feel free to do your hair however you like, but I’ve packed a beautiful date outfit for you and a lipstick colour that I think will look gorgeous. Meet me out here when you’re done and we’ll head off.”

Naturally, Alaska’s planning for the Worst Date Ever had been meticulous, in possibly the most un-Alaska behaviour of hers ever. Since they had started the bet, she kept track of little bits of information that she could use - things that annoyed Sharon, things that she hated, offhand comments she made that indicated her opinions on things.

For example, she now knew that Sharon hated pink lipstick, claiming it made her look like a man. She thought anything off-shoulder was stupid, and pale colours didn’t flatter her skin tone, and long strappy shoes were dumb because the ties looked weird wrapped around people’s legs.

Her face when she reappeared was something Alaska never wanted to forget.

In the time Sharon had been changing, and likely cursing herself for not winning the bet, Alaska had slipped into something a little nicer in the bathroom too - just a ripped jeans and button-up combo that she would usually wear on a date, which had been made to feel twice as good by Jinkx’s compliments. Alaska suspected her friend was hoping for a romantic connection to blossom on the date, and inwardly laughed at the idea. One, they weren’t into each other like that, and two, this was not the kind of date that would make a girl fall in love.

Sharon emerged with a scowl, but even so, Alaska couldn’t deny that she looked pretty. It was abundantly clear that she hated her outfit from head to toe, which was a great start. In all fairness, the skin-tight pink minidress, off-the-shoulder style with long sleeves, actually looked pretty good on her. It clung to her curves in a somewhat intoxicating way, showcasing a figure that Alaska never knew had been hiding under her detective uniform and leather jackets. 

“I look ridiculous.” She sulked. “I hate these shoes, and this lipstick makes me look like a man. Are you happy?”

As soon as the question was out, Sharon rolled her eyes as she predicted Alaska’s gleeful response. “Thrilled.”

Latrice walked past and stopped to marvel at the outfit, before bursting into infectiously loud laughter. “Damn, Needles, I ain’t never seen you dressed like that before! You look like Angelyne!”

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest. “And you’ll never see it again! It suits Angelyne, it doesn’t fucking suit me! Can we get this thing started already?”

Alaska offered her arm, ever the polite, charming date. “Since you spoke so sweetly of me earlier, of course. You’re going to love my date.”

Sharon was not going to love Alaska’s date.

There were very few restaurants that were still open and serving food past midnight, but that was fine - Alaska wasn’t in the mood for a restaurant. What the city had a plethora of, however, was exactly what she wanted. Even in the darkness of the city streets, lit only by street lamps and the jarring white light of the food stalls, Alaska saw Sharon’s face drop.

“Fuck off. No. You can’t do this to me.”

By far, the worst street of the city was the one they stood in, lined as far as the eye could see with various unsanitary or just plain unusual food trucks. Even drunk Alaska knew better than to search for something edible from them after a night out, which meant it was perfect for her terrible date.

“You get to pick!” Alaska beamed. “I’m a great date partner, so it’s up to you. Of course, I’m paying.”

Sharon tugged at her dress and huffed. “Thunder. You can’t be serious. If we eat from any of these places we won’t shit solid for a week. I am not subjecting myself to food poisoning because of you.”

Eventually, they settled on what seemed like a fairly inoffensive option, a small truck selling wraps and burritos. Sharon took about two bites of her ‘vegetarian special’ before spitting it onto the ground, disgusted. It turned out a cold wrap filled with lukewarm lettuce, tomato and sour cream wasn’t the most appetizing meal. Once she’d thrown it away, she leant towards Alaska and playfully barged into her.

“You’re an asshole! I hate this. I hate you.”

Alaska winked. “Oh, you think you hate me, but trust me, things can only get worse from here. I promised you an awful date and I will deliver because I am a woman of my word. Now, how do you feel about mud, loud noises, and smashing vehicles?”

Sharon glanced down. “In these shoes?”

To be completely honest, Alaska didn’t see the problem with lace-up heels. In fact, she thought they looked quite good wrapped around Sharon’s legs. She had nice legs.

“Come on, let’s go.”

To make the date even worse, on the way to a monster truck rally that some dumb kid Sasha had arrested a few weeks ago had mentioned, Alaska chose a ride-share, subjecting Sharon to twenty minutes in a car with a bunch of hammered straight girls. Every five minutes or so, they whooped loudly and demanded the driver play some Dua Lipa.

Sharon looked murderous, but in a sort of amused way. Alaska figured she was surprised at quite how horrific the date was turning out to be. It was quite a shock, really.

It quickly became apparent that the truck rally, however, was a pretty big mistake on Alaska’s part.

Unsurprisingly, it was just as terrible as she had planned it to be - floodlit, loud, dirty, and full of raucous drunk people thriving off destruction and chaos. They were perched on the edge of shaky metal benches, disgusted at the filth of the place.

“This… is disgusting.” Sharon almost seemed impressed. “I thought the food choice was bad, but the activity is so much worse.”

Alaska could barely hear her over the noise, but she nodded. “I told you I’m good.”

Sharon laughed and conceded. “Fuck. Something about this place feels very illegal, and I don’t even know why. I’m just going to ignore my surroundings.”

Behind them, a greasy-looking man wearing a beer-stained vest and sagging jeans clicked his tongue. “Hey, ma, shake that thing on over here. That’s right, I’m talkin’ to you, hot stuff. You look good in that pink.”

Sharon stiffened, and Alaska bit her lip. “I… forgot about the existence of gross men in a place like this.”

In spite of the comment, Sharon cracked a smile. “So caught up in the fun of humiliating me that you forgot about sexism. I love that. We should leave.”

“Fantastic idea.”

Luckily, there was a decent bar not too far from the site of their awful date, so they hastened away from the chaos of the rally as quickly as they could and made their way inside. Alaska reasoned that maybe a good bar would act as a little bit of a reprieve from the bad date and vile comment, and figured she could still ruin it tactfully by ordering the grossest drinks they had available. Straight tequila would do, probably.

“Can we get six shots of tequila? Thanks,” Alaska handed over the money and laughed at Sharon, who sat on the barstool and groaned exaggeratedly loud. “This is what happens when you lose the bet, Needles! Maybe you should be better next time.”

“I tried so hard!” Sharon defended herself, laughing. “I held the lead for at least three weeks in a row! Stupid fucking criminals working alone instead of together.”

When the shots arrived, Alaska barely had a chance to gloat about how horrible it was going to be before Sharon had downed her three, wincing but persisting nevertheless. Alaska quickly caught up, taken aback and tickled by how fast she had knocked them back.

“Listen,” Sharon giggled at Alaska’s stare, “I look dumb, I ate gross street food, went to a fucking monster truck rally and got catcalled. I need to get shitfaced, you succeeded. Your date is terrible.”

Alaska pumped her fist into the air. “Yes! Succeeded and the night is still young! Although I can’t help but feel like the catcalling was my fault because of the outfit, so I will offer a rare Alaska Thunder apology.”

Sharon smirked. “Oh, thanks, I appreciate that. I’d look better in a body bag.”

Checking her phone, Alaska saw that it was just coming up to around two in the morning. She ordered two double whiskeys and winked at Sharon. They still had plenty of time before she would call the date finished and let her go home.

Sharon could hold her alcohol incredibly well, Alaska discovered, but also that she became a heightened and twice as hilarious version of herself the more she drank. Or maybe Alaska just saw it that way, as she matched her drink for drink. She found herself doubled over, howling with laughter at something that one of them had said, with no idea what had been said or by who. 

They even danced a little, with drunk Alaska unashamed to show how terribly uncoordinated she was. Sharon was by no means an expert dancer, but drunk Alaska was more than a little open-mouthed and amazed at how close drunk Sharon danced against her. There was hardly space between them to breathe, and Alaska found it difficult to tear her eyes away from Sharon’s hips.

It wasn’t like it mattered anyway… finding someone physically attractive didn’t mean you liked liked them, or wanted to date them or have sex with them or engage in anything other than a friendly professional relationship with them… Jinkx was stupid. There was no such thing as ‘chemistry’ or anything like that. There was just Sharon, who looked good, and Alaska, who had drank a lot, and a dance floor and some loud music, and that was enough.

Alaska didn’t remember when they decided to leave the club, but at some point they had made the decision to. Her phone read four in the morning, not that she could really register that either. The ground was cold and a little bit stony - she looked down and saw she was walking barefoot, holding a pair of heels by their straps, and Sharon was wearing her flats. 

Perhaps she’d offered them to her. How kind.

Both girls stumbled down the street, presumably towards the Uber they had probably called that would be arriving in ten minutes or something along those lines. Alaska’s head was swimming, and a bubble of laughter escaped from her for no reason, triggering Sharon to do the same.

She was really kind of beautiful, in the darkness. But that sounded bad - Sharon was pretty in the daylight, and in the moonlight, and through the lens of drunk, smug Alaska. She had successfully created the worst date, and she’d had so much fun.

“This is so fucking fun…” Sharon slurred, wobbling as she clung to Alaska’s arm and laughed. “I’m counting the worms on the street. I’ve seen like five, and they’re all called Joe. They’re my sons now.”

“You’re a mother!” Alaska exclaimed. “How exciting for you! Congratulations!”

She almost tripped, grabbed onto Sharon for balance, and started howling with laughter. “Oooops, I might be a teensy bit drunk.”

“Good! So am I!” Sharon declared proudly. “I’m ha-having so much fun. This is definitely not the worst date ever. I’ve been- I’ve been on worser- more worse - badder dates than this. One time, this girl left me for her ex! At the table! Was fucking bad, Lask. But funny.”

Alaska gasped. “Aww, shit. You told me that! Now I gotta plan a w-worse date?”

Sharon smiled, her expression dopey. “I like hanging out with you! I’ve had so much fun tonight. Also, you’re waaaay pretty! Even though you’re a goof! A goofy goofball dummy head.”

“That’s me, baby!” Alaska puffed her chest out. “OH! I think that’s our car. It is! Let’s go, pretty pretty girl. You’re pretty too. Let’s gooooooo!”

-

No amount of alcohol was worth the raging headache that Alaska woke up with. Her memories were hazy but nevertheless still there, and as she tried to think back on the events of her night, her head spun. Where did Sharon end up?

The reluctant opening of her eyes soon solved that mystery. Alaska’s bedroom door was wide open, and if she squinted to try and focus her blurry vision, she made out the shape of Sharon’s body passed out asleep on her couch, one arm thrown up in the air and one leg stretched out. 

With a groan and an extreme amount of effort, Alaska shifted herself up and into the kitchen, overlooking the living room. She needed coffee and she needed it now. Thank god neither of them had work - there wasn’t a chance in hell that either of them would’ve been able to make it in.

“I feel like Satan’s asscrack right now.” Sharon’s voice came weakly from the couch. “I’m so tired.”

Alaska smiled, though Sharon couldn’t see her from where she was lying. “Coffee? I just brewed some… gonna fucking need it.”

“Oh, please. Black, no sugar, and toss in a Redbull if you got one. I need the caffeine more than I need a steady heart rate.”

Alaska poured the two drinks and brought them into the living room, the two of them laughing weakly at each other in their hungover, exhausted states. She handed over the mug and recalled how her drunken self had dwelled on Sharon being pretty as they walked together.

Sharon’s eyes were puffy and rimmed with smudged black makeup, her lipstick smeared across her cheek but mostly on her hand. Her hair was loose and stuck up wildly from the way she’d slept, not that she seemed to care. As she sipped her coffee, Alaska realised she must have offered her something to sleep in, as the offending pink dress had been discarded halfway across the room, and instead she wore an old Golden Girls t-shirt of Alaska’s. She looked a mess, as they both did. 

Alaska was sober, it was daylight, and she still thought Sharon looked beautiful.

Fuck. As much as Alaska hated the thought of it…. Jinkx might’ve been onto something.

-

Jinkx was onto something. 

Her case had suddenly had this amazing new lead, and within a day of hard field work, she had enlisted Alaska to join her for the arrest and taken down a guy she’d been hunting for months. It was obviously an amazing feeling, and as a celebration, she invited her friend over to spend the evening.

It soon became clear that Jinkx had an ulterior motive, because the questions began the moment that Alaska’s second glass of red wine had been refilled.

“So… no work talk tonight, we did a good job. How was your date?”

Alaska rolled her eyes and giggled, feeling relaxed in the comfort of Jinkx’s home. When she’d joined the force, she hadn’t expected to become such good friends with her colleagues, but Jinkx in particular had assumed the position of best friend in no time. Her home was slightly kooky and unusual, but the little touches of her personality made the whole place endearing and safe in Alaska’s eyes. In the soft lighting, a glass of wine down, she found herself more open to talk.

“I thought you said no work chat,” Alaska teased.

Jinkx coughed expectantly. “That wasn’t work and you know it. Spill, bitch.”

“Fine.” Alaska lazily sipped her wine. “I took her out and tried to embarrass her, succeeded, and we ended up having a really good night. Sharon’s pretty fun.”

“You could’ve stopped at pretty.”

Alaska laughed. “Are you sure it’s me you’re trying to imply liking her? You seem into her.”

“Har, har, har,” Jinkx shot Alaska a meaningful look, going as far as to push her glasses further down the bridge of her nose to make eye contact away from the lens. “She’s good looking, of course, but she’s not my type.”

“What makes you think she’s mine?”

Dangerous territory. Alaska still couldn’t shake the thoughts she had woken up sober with after their night out - that Sharon was pretty, even when she looked and felt like death. Sometimes, she’d walk into work in the morning and see that Sharon had tied her hair up or worn something different or just looked the same, and would internally note that she looked nice. It was like all of a sudden she couldn’t not notice her colleague’s appearance.

“The way you look at her.” Jinkx shrugged, matter-of-factly. “You have to admit there’s an element of attraction there.”

Alaska swallowed. She drank some more wine and thought for a moment - it wasn’t like she couldn’t trust Jinkx, but admitting it would feel so humiliating. Still, she supposed, there was a reason they called it liquid courage…

“To be honest, I feel like I’ve been looking at her differently since the date. Nothing happened, but I guess I’d never considered looking at her romantically before that. I mean, why would I?” She stared off into the distance, not quite wanting to look Jinkx in the eye. “She’s obviously pretty. It’s just that… I notice it now, you know? She’s this badass detective and that’s attractive, but then it’s like… she’s also this dork who likes dumb shit and it’s funny to me when she talks about it.”

Alaska’s gaze flickered over to Jinkx, who seemed to be masking her smugness in order to hide her judgement. Her face was so perfectly still that she burst into laughter, prompting Jinkx to do the same.

“I knew you liked her. You give her this look sometimes, I don’t think she ever notices it, but you smile with half of your mouth and then laugh at things she says. Almost subconsciously, I would say.” Jinkx wrinkled her nose and giggled. “I’m a love expert, just saying. I have a PhD in love.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Alaska deadpanned, and then spluttered into laughter. “I can’t keep a straight face. Look, I just… don’t know how to proceed with these new… observations, alright? I wouldn’t make a move on her, it’s not like she sees me the same way.”

Jinkx’s gaze somehow seemed wise, like an owl’s, and knowing. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Wouldn’t be so sure?” Alaska repeated, confused.

Jinkx got up and started walking into the kitchen, her back to Alaska so she couldn’t read her expression. Dammit, social cues! Alaska was going to go crazy.

“Jinkx, wouldn’t be so sure?”

-

They texted a lot. Even sometimes at work, when they were only across the room from one another. Alaska would text something dumb that she knew would make Sharon laugh, and watch as she looked down at her desk and then smiled to herself, privately.

No one else got to see those smiles of hers. Just Alaska, who had caused them.

-

One evening, Alaska found Sharon stood waiting at her desk, a guilty expression plastered across her face. Out of the corner of her eye, Alaska saw Jinkx frantically throwing a thumbs up in her direction, but she quickly ignored her friend’s overexcited encouragement and smiled.

“Hey, Needles. You okay?”

Sharon nodded, then shook her head. “Look, I’m a total asshole, but… I know you get off work early tonight, and I’m in for a long one,” She began, her tone apologetic. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow and I don’t have time to get her anything and I completely forgot to go yesterday. I know what I want to get her, but would you mind picking it up for me and dropping it off at my place when I get home? You’d be doing me a huge favour.”

She trusts me, Alaska’s mind supplied. Another part of it replied shut up.

“Of course! I know the feeling. I love my mom.” Alaska grinned. “Can’t believe you forgot to get her a present. How old is she turning?”

The guilt on Sharon’s face increased. “Sixty.”

“Sixty?! It’s a big birthday and you forgot? Hey, everyone, Needles hates her mom!”

“I do not!” Sharon defended herself, and then laughed. She grabbed Alaska’s hand and squeezed it, and Alaska tried not to overthink the action at all. “You’re a lifesaver, Lask, thank you so much. Here’s the money, here’s what I want to get her. You’re amazing.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t long until Alaska was off, and as she left the precinct, she waved at Sharon to show her she’d remembered, and then made her way to the superstore. Her evening plans had been pretty relaxed anyway, mostly consisting of binging the rest of her DVR and eating cheap popcorn in bed, so she didn’t mind the extra chore too much. 

Besides… it was Sharon. Embarrassing, but little else needed to be said.

Alaska was mindlessly musing on her sudden appreciation for Sharon as she perused the shelves, locating the perfume she’d asked for with ease (the scent wasn’t much to her taste, but given it was for a sixty year old woman, she shrugged it off). Jinkx had hinted that maybe Sharon liked her too, but then provided no evidence whatsoever and, as a detective, Alaska thrived on evidence.

Maybe she should make a case file about it and decipher it like she would for a crime. No… that was dumb. Sharon had her seven shades of confused, that was for sure.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice the man in a crude balaclava stalking past, a couple of aisles away. Thankfully, he didn’t see her, but as soon as her eyes registered it, she was fully alert. The man was pushing a shopper along with him, who followed his orders in abject terror. Alaska’s heart sank.

This had to be a robbery at best, or possibly even a hostage situation at worst. This was bad. Alaska was unarmed, and she had seen the glint of the gun pressing into the civilian’s back from the man herding her away. As she ran, she realised this was definitely not a solo operation, and things could get ugly fast.

Without a gun, Alaska knew she needed to hide. She stuffed the perfume into her back and crept along the aisles, furtively checking for any movement before she progressed. As soon as she was safe, she could call for help, but in the meantime, she needed to stay alive if she was to help any of these civilians. The squad needed to know about this. Sharon… Sharon needed to know about this.

The furniture display was mercifully empty. Alaska knew she had to think fast, and quickly decided the wardrobe was her best bet. At least she knew there was nobody nearby, and she could hide in there if only for a moment whilst she contacted her friends for backup. This was bad.

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: Bring squad + backup to superstore asap, armed robbers

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: Civilians taken hostage. Hiding in wardrobe, don’t have a gun

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: Several guys, all in balaclavas. Counted six, could be more

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: Plz be careful and be quick. 

Sharon [to Alaska Thunder]: Mobilising now. On our way.

There was a sound of footsteps squeaking on the linoleum. Someone had walked into the furniture department.

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: I hear footsteps. My hiding place might be found

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: Not sure how this will play out. Just in case I don’t get a chance to say it, I really care about you. You mean the world to me.

Sharon [to Alaska Thunder]: Seven minutes away.

Alaska [to Sharon Needles]: You’re amazing inside and out.

Sharon [to Alaska Thunder]: It won’t end like this.

The wardrobe door flung open. Alaska stashed her phone and held her breath as a pair of steel grey eyes met her, along with the barrel of a gun. 

“Move. Now.”

In any other situation, Alaska might’ve resisted. She’d done this before, following orders before surprising them with a quick escape and pulling a gun of her own, given that most robbers didn’t want to die as much as they just wanted to have control over their hostages. If only she had a fucking gun with her. She was an idiot. If she didn’t play this right, she and a bunch of civilians would die. 

She did everything in her power to stay calm as she was directed by one of the robbers into a small, lockable room, probably used by the staff. There were about thirteen others, their hands bound in zip ties and their eyes wide and frightened. Alaska was forcibly pushed in with them, tied the same way, and shoved to the floor.

The guard stood watch over them was tall and intimidating, his face also covered and the pistol at his side doing nothing to alleviate the terror that Alaska and the others felt. She had faith in her friends, of course, but she knew that one wrong move could cost a life. Again, if she had a gun, he would be easy to take down. Alaska had tackled guys twice his size many times in her career, but the sheer helplessness that she felt only worsened her fear.

One of the hostages, clearly the most fearful, had been gagged as well as tied up. He was writhing frantically, desperate to scream even through the gag. Without a second thought, the guard raised his pistol and fired it into the hostage’s foot. As he shrieked in agony, the rest of the room screamed.

Alaska took a moment to accept that this really could be it. At least, for now, she could hopefully bring some comfort to the civilians. After the gunshot, an alert on the guard’s earpiece caused him to leave the room from some privacy. This looked like it was going to be Alaska’s only chance, so she seized it.

“Everybody listen. I’m a detective, my squad are only a minute or two away. Everything is about to be under control, please stay calm and do what they say for the time being. Is anyone able to take off his gag?”

In times of crisis, Alaska knew she had to use her training and control the room. A woman beside the wounded man, who was sobbing from the pain, leant in as close as she could, and with some difficulty from her bound hands, managed to pull the gag out of his mouth. He looked as if he was about to scream again, but at Alaska’s kind but firm gaze, he just whimpered.

“Good.” Alaska surveyed her surroundings. “I’m positive there will be an ambulance when we get out of here, too. We’re in this together.”

A woman of about forty shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “We’re all going to die in here. They’ll shoot us all like they shot him.”

Alaska did her best to look away, but still found herself drawn to the pile of blood pooling around the man’s foot at which the woman had pointed. She longed to provide more comfort, to reassure them that nobody was going to die and everything was going to be alright, but she knew she couldn’t. Those kind of promises couldn’t be guaranteed, and all of her training for years had advised against them.

“Please stay calm and wait for the reinforcements, okay? That’s all we can do.”

The guard returned, his eyes blazing. His gaze immediately fell on the injured hostage, who without the gag was crying and hyperventilating from the trauma.

“Who removed the gag? Who?!”

No one spoke. Everyone seemed to know that this was not the time for heroism.

“I did.” Alaska’s heart was racing. “Let us go and your charge won’t be as harsh. You’re facing life imprisonment for this. These people are innocent.”

The masked guard shrugged, levelling his pistol at Alaska’s chest. “May as well serve life for murder then.”

Alaska closed her eyes and held her breath. At the very least, she would die in service. 

“Freeze! NYPD, you’re under arrest.”

By the time Alaska’s eyes had opened, Latrice already had their guard with his arms pinned behind him, offering a tense smile in Alaska’s direction. Detective Michaels was busy at work freeing and escorting the hostages out, her gaze filled with relief as she freed Alaska and called in the paramedics.

“The rest of the squad are outside. They’ll be beside themselves to see you.”

There was no time to waste. The overwhelming chaos of a taped-off crime scene was practically joyous in comparison to the bleak terror of the little locked room, and Alaska just stood and tried to catch her breath as she took in the flashing red and blue lights, the officers bustling around, the ambulances and police cars pulled up around her. It was hauntingly familiar, yet eerie to have been part of the ordeal, not part of the rescue mission. 

Jinkx was in a huddle of panicked family members, always the best at offering support and comfort whilst the victim’s statements were being taken by Sasha and Shea. Latrice appeared a few moments later with her perp cuffed, followed by Detective Michaels - who Alaska had never quite felt comfortable calling Chad, despite her unthreatening nature, and was beginning to realize in the midst of it all that such trivial things like names didn’t matter. Three more guys were already cuffed and in police cars.

Just a few feet behind her, Sharon was wrestling another masked criminal into a car. When she finally succeeded and looked up, her expression was one Alaska never wanted to forget. If the sun dawning on a new day could be an emotion, it was written all over Sharon’s face and Alaska wanted to live in it.

“Are you okay? Holy shit, I was so afraid for you. Please tell me you’re okay.”

Alaska knew she needed to respond but she couldn’t; she needed to take in every detail of Sharon’s face and appreciate every inch of her because the moment it had hit that she might not see tomorrow, her mind had taken her straight to the woman stood before her, her brow creased and her eyes sparkling, terrified, her chest heaving. She had texted Sharon because she needed police backup, and she had texted Sharon because the first person that sprang to her mind in a life or death situation was her.

“I’m fine. They didn’t hurt me.”

Sharon’s eyes were startlingly blue. “Thank god. I was so worried, I couldn’t believe it. This was all my fault, I put you in this horrible situation all because I stupidly forgot to get a stupid gift for my mom. You could’ve died all because I sent you here, wrong place and wrong time.”

Inexplicably, Alaska felt calm. Nothing else in the world existed except for the two of them, having a conversation. There were no sirens or flashing lights, no imminent trauma or fear from a hostage situation. Perhaps it was the shock settling in, numbing her to her surroundings, but somehow, she mustered a reassuring smile.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. It wasn’t your fault. And here,” She handed over the bag, the perfume miraculously still inside. At the sight of it, Sharon’s eyes filled with guilty tears. “I put your change in with the gift and receipt.”

Sharon was speechless for a moment, wordlessly taking the bag and doing her best to swallow back her tears. They were stood inches apart, both still trembling from the ordeal, and Alaska’s heart almost broke at the uncharacteristic wobble of Sharon’s lip.

“You’re so…” She trailed off, her voice thick. “I’ll never be able to forgive myself for doing this to you, I’m so grateful you did my stupid errand but more than that I’m so happy you’re alive. I kept torturing myself the whole time, what if you didn’t make it and the last time I spoke to you face to face, I asked you to do something for me that didn’t even matter? I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to this, and I-”

Alaska’s smile was soft, gentle. “Sharon.”

“-I felt so awful. I just-”

She needed to shut up, Sharon needed to shut up and Alaska couldn’t think of any other way to shut her up so she chose the only logical option, wrapping her arms around Sharon’s shoulders and kissing her until she fell quiet. It took hardly a second for Sharon’s lips to respond, deepening the kiss as she held Alaska’s face against her own and melted into her embrace. It said everything that she had been trying to - that she was afraid, that she cared, that after everything that had happened, the thought of wasting a moment more of any precious time they had with each other seemed in itself to be a felony. Sharon was cold but her lips were warm, her body felt like home despite how much it shook. Nowhere in the world was safer than this.

When they pulled away, Alaska longed to pull her back into another embrace, but she resisted. Sharon’s cheeks were furiously red and her mouth hung open slightly, as though she couldn’t believe what had just happened. Alaska understood exactly how she felt.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” Sharon’s voice was a whisper, almost swept away in the chaos of the scene, but to Alaska’s ears it was the only sound in the universe.

Alaska reached for Sharon’s hands. “I couldn’t have died without letting you know how I feel.”

Sharon giggled. “Did we actually just kiss?”

“Yeah.”

“In the middle of a crime scene?”

“I think so.”

“And… did all of our squad witness it?”

Alaska turned. Jinkx, from her short distance away, was beaming from ear to ear, and Shea and Latrice were watching as though they were in the midst of a rom-com, not an actual crime scene. At least it wasn’t the whole squad, she reasoned. Willam would be all over the gossip.

“Most of them.” She laughed. “This doesn’t have to be anything, Sharon, I just… You were talking so much. It was the only way to get you to be quiet.”

“Alright, let’s go back to the precinct.” Sharon replied, her voice soft. “Looks like we’re all in for the long haul tonight.”

The grin on Alaska’s face stayed there all night.

-

There weren’t really any texts exchanged between Alaska and Sharon over the gratuitous weekend that Alaska was given off work to cope with the stress of the robbery. In that time, she chalked up their kiss to a rush of adrenaline from the chaos of the event, and contemplated changing her number so that her embarrassing texts would never haunt her again. 

Thankfully, everything seemed business as usual when she came back into work. She was immediately summoned along with the others into the briefing room, where her usual greeting from Sharon of a nod and a smile was no different to any other day. 

Still, Alaska averted her eyes when Sharon stood in front of the room to lay out her case.

“Okay, this one is pretty massive. I’m talking fraud, I’m talking identity theft, I’m talking hundreds of thousands of people affected by this. Anthony Bennecci is one of our most prolific identity thieves and I just got word from one of my sources that he’s planning on selling the government laptop he stole tonight. We could potentially arrest both the buyer and the seller if we play this right.”

Tidicue nodded thoughtfully. “Alright. I want Needles, Thunder, Royale and Monsoon on it. Sergeant, make sure there’s no shenanigans on this mission. I trust you and only you with a task of this importance.”

Latrice laughed uproariously as the rest of the officers left the room, settling into their duties. Alaska frowned at her, confused.

“What the hell was that about?”

Before Latrice could even answer, the unmistakable sound of Willam cut in. “I believe our Captain is referring to your little horndog makeout session from the other night that absolutely everybody knows about.”

Fucking Willam. It would be a mistake to underestimate the squad’s receptionist given her detective-like ability to uncover gossip and secrets from events that definitely had no way of being present at. Whoever her sources were, they were good. 

That being said, Alaska had extra reason to mentally curse Willam out over her blasé mentioning of the incident. The two were old school friends, practically raised together, and if there was anyone who could read Alaska like a book and identify the signs of a crush without needing any verbal confirmation, it would be Willam. So Alaska knew damn well that Willam could tell she liked Sharon and could tell that she wanted to forget the entire kiss had ever happened because it obviously didn’t mean anything - and she could tell that Willam had brought it up purely to rattle her.

Willam could be a little sadistic sometimes. Alaska loved her, but she was terrifying.

“Fucking hell, Willy, I swear I saw you at your desk two minutes ago.” Sharon swore, and then frowned. “Anyway, we kissed once for like, half a second because we were both happy she wasn’t dead. You’re overreaching a little.”

And you’re underreaching, Alaska thought, trying to ignore how her heart sunk at Sharon’s words and instead nodding in faux-agreement. Maybe the kiss meant nothing to Sharon, but that didn’t mean it was some peck on the lips, over in the blink of an eye.

Whatever. It didn’t matter.

Jinkx and Latrice exchanged knowing looks at Sharon’s defensive words, but to Alaska’s relief, said nothing. At least they were being professionals, for once. 

The incident, as Alaska was now calling it, didn’t arise again as they planned and began to execute the mission. Sharon had tracked Bennecci’s phone from an altercation an officer had with him a week ago, and found the location of a restaurant he was planning to go to that evening. From there, they had followed Latrice’s orders to set up surveillance in the most nondescript car they had, and headed out. 

As it turned out, high-brow criminals like Bennecci tended to have a lot of money, and the restaurant they pulled up outside of was more extravagant than Alaska had ever seen in her life. Her idea of a fancy night was a trip to Olive Garden and a bottle of white wine, whereas this place took fancy to a whole new level.

“Oh… uh, bad news, guys.” Jinkx stared at her phone. “This place is fully booked. There’s no way you’re going to be able to get in.”

Sharon sighed. “I need to catch this guy, I’ve been working on this forever. There must be something we can do.”

Latrice cleared her throat. “Hang on. I have an idea. Needles, take your hair down. You too, Thunder. And I think…” She dove into her jacket pocket, and then crowed triumphantly. “Yes! I knew I had my brown lipstick on me. Jinkx, borrow your red one to Sharon. You need to look convincingly dolled up.”

Knowing better than to question Latrice, as both her superior and a good friend, Alaska just laughed. “Damn, Sarge, I’m feeling a little objectified right now. Is there a reason for your makeover?”

As always, Latrice’s screech of laughter was a thing of beauty. “Shut up! Here, Needles, I’m trusting you with this so you best not fucking lose it, or I’ll eat you bitch. Now do you see my plan?”

Alaska saw the plan. In the palm of Sharon’s hand, at which she was staring in complete disbelief, Latrice had placed a shining silver ring, studded with tiny diamonds. Everything started falling into place all of a sudden.

“Hang on, why does she get the ring? Why can’t she propose to me?”

Latrice rolled her eyes, playfully. “Eh, you’re more butch. We’re subscribing to traditional gender roles here to try and make it more realistic to your average couple. Besides, that ring definitely won’t fit either of you anyway, but you can just keep it in your jacket and if anyone asks, show them and say you’re getting it resized. The story is - you’re a newly engaged couple. Congrats.”

Jinkx clapped her hands in glee. “I always knew this day would come!”

This was fine. Alaska was just casually pretending to be engaged to her colleague, who she was also kind of maybe a little bit in love with, who didn’t appear to return her affections, for the sake of an undercover mission so they could keep tabs on an identity thief. Just normal everyday stuff, really. Loathe to act as though any of the plans had got to her, Alaska squared her shoulders and dug in deep to her charms - even if others preferred to call it cockiness. She wore it well, after all.

As they walked inside, she made sure to put her arm around Sharon’s waist to make them look convincing as a couple. A few feet away from them, at the hostess stand, another couple stood waiting.

“That’s Bennecci,” Sharon whispered. “Keep eyes on him. Let’s go.”

They stood behind, smiling politely as the hostess informed Bennecci and his date that their table would be ready shortly. When she noticed them approaching, she faltered.

“Hi, do you have any tables for two?” Sharon asked sweetly, Alaska almost laughing at how much honey she had poured into her voice. Whatever this dumb schtick was, Sharon was really committing to it. 

The hostess winced. “I’m so sorry, the place is really busy tonight.”

They had caught Bennecci’s attention. He turned around and studied them for a moment, his hand all the while resting similarly around his date’s waist. His eyes were dark and calculating, but his smile seemed genuine. He had no reason to suspect them, after all.

“Oh, really? We were really hoping to get in… we just got engaged tonight, and we had our very first date here. Isn’t that right, darling?”

Sharon leaned into Alaska’s side, giggling and simpering. Alaska’s heart did a backflip.

Bennecci shrugged at the hostess. “There’s always an exception for love, right, ma’am? Always gotta bless the little lovebirds.”

The hostess nodded. “I’m sure I can find you something. Just wait here one moment.”

It took all of Alaska’s willpower not to be her typical annoying self and offer a mighty high five. Instead, she squeezed Sharon a little closer and shot a look of gratitude towards Bennecci - something she never thought she’d do. 

He was a tall, typically attractive Italian man who, according to Sharon’s case file, was fifty five years old. His hair was thick, dark and neatly styled, and clung to his arm was his much younger girlfriend, a tiny thing of bright highlight, glossy pink lips and bleached blonde hair. She couldn’t have been much more than twenty one.

“Congratulations!” The girlfriend trilled, clapping her hands in excitement. “Oh, I love weddings! My name’s Farrah, this is Tony!”

Bennecci nodded in acknowledgement. “Have a wonderful night, you deserve it.”

The hostess returned, four menus in her hands. “Right this way.”

By some strange trick of fate, the tables she had managed to locate were right next to each other - they would have an easy way to keep eyes on Bennecci all night, right up to knowing when he would be leaving. Latrice and Jinkx were stationed outside to spot him anyway, but Alaska fired off a quick text updating them on their good luck and then fell back into her role as acting fiancée. She could be especially loving since Latrice had allocated them enough for a decent meal from the department’s funds.

The moment they were seated, Farrah was all bubbles and sunshine and personal questions. Alaska wondered, briefly, if she knew that her boyfriend was a criminal or not. She spied the laptop bag at his feet, confirmation that the drop-off would be tonight, even if sweet Farrah didn’t seem to know anything about it!

“So! Tell us about yourselves! Names, how did you meet - oh - how did you propose?!”

Sharon faked a laugh. “Oh, I’m Sophia.”

“I’m… Blanche.” Alaska panicked. She hoped neither of them would catch her instinctive reference, although Farrah was definitely too young to recognise it. Judging by the looks on everyone’s faces, it was only Sharon who had noticed anything.

“Right,” Sharon continued. “We met a couple of years ago on a… champagne tour in France. We just hit it off right away, came here for our first date when we got back and here we are.”

Bennecci called over a waiter and spoke to him quietly whilst Farrah gasped and aww’d at the made-up story. Alaska’s stomach felt like it was twisted up in knots. She had, for the most part, been able to separate her growing feelings for Sharon from any kind of detective work she had to do, but now, undercover as a happily engaged couple, the lines were becoming uncomfortably blurred. Sharon’s easily unwavering commitment to the act certainly didn’t help Alaska’s situation at all.

A minute or two later, the waiter Bennecci had called over returned, an expensive bottle of champagne and two glasses on his tray. He placed them down on Alaska and Sharon’s table, then smiled and left.

“From us,” Bennecci said. “A gift, for the happy couple.”

As the meal went on, Alaska let her mind wander a little. She spoke and laughed and flirted on autopilot, expert enough by now on undercover acting to not be suspicious even when she was stuck inside her head. It was all so artificial, and yet it hurt - seeing Sharon across from her at a fancy restaurant, her lips painted red and her smile shining, her proud, albeit fake giggle as she showed off Latrice’s ring to Farrah’s eager gaze. All of it was a lie, and yet Alaska couldn’t help but wonder how things would be if it was real.

If Sharon really was her date. If they really were lovebirds, doted on by another couple purely for how happy they were together. 

The night drew to a close. When Farrah excused herself to the bathroom to touch up her makeup, Bennecci mumbled something about talking to the chef, picked up the laptop bag, and headed off.

Sharon stood up. “Okay, we gotta follow him. Let’s go.”

Dropping the act made Alaska feel a little more grounded, but it didn’t necessarily make her feel better. She followed Sharon through the tables, holding her by the hand to keep up the ruse, deciding to just shut off her brain altogether and focus on the man they were trying to arrest.

“The chef must be the buyer,” She hummed, peering down the corridor. From their vantage point, they could see just enough into the kitchen to where Bennecci was, conversing with one of the chefs. “Do you think he’ll make the drop-off here?”

Sharon frowned. “I don’t know, maybe he’s- oh, he’s looking this way.” She paused. “Okay, this is happening.”

There was no time to ask what was happening, because before Alaska knew it, Sharon was kissing her. It was surprisingly soft, and tender - not rushed and desperate like their weekend encounter had been, but sweet and gentle and longing. When they pulled apart a few moments later, Alaska wanted to spend an eternity observing how beautiful Sharon looked, but had to level her gaze at Bennecci, who had approached, and smiled guiltily.

“God, sorry… we were just-”

Bennecci held a hand up to stop them. “Don’t worry about it. I know how it is to be young and in love.”

Sharon feigned a coy, embarrassed look, although Alaska noticed how her eyes had darted down to note that he was still holding the laptop bag, and thus hadn’t made the drop-off yet. “We just can’t keep our hands off each other… I’m just so in love with her, you know?”

Alaska’s heart hurt. 

There was little else to say as they exited the restaurant just after Bennecci. Sharon got into the car, returned Latrice’s ring and they started tailing his car a few metres behind, all conversation falling to the mission and only the mission. It was a good thing, given that Alaska was sure the mention of a second kiss in only a few days would be enough to finish her off.

Of course, they were acting as an engaged couple, so the impulsive action made sense. But at the same time, Sharon was confusing the living daylights out of Alaska’s mind.

Latrice watched as the car came to a stop, pulling over a safe distance behind and observing through her equipment. “Where is the buyer…. Oh, I see. Smart. He’s leaving it in that shrubbery, he’s not meeting with the buyer face-to-face. We need to split, two of us tail Bennecci and two of us wait to arrest the buyer.”

“These two can’t tail Bennecci, he’ll recognise them.” Jinkx pointed out, much to Alaska’s chagrin. “The two of you need to wait by the shrubbery in case anyone comes along. That way we can easily get two big fish between us.”

Sharon nodded. “Right. Okay, let’s do this. Is the backup squad car waiting for us?”

“It’s just down the street.” Latrice told them. “Get out, get going. Bennecci is setting off, we gotta follow.”

And then they were alone, in the darkness, stood against the thick trunk of a tree in the midst of the park as they watched for anyone walking past. Alaska couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“You kissed me.”

Sharon didn’t react. Her eyes were firmly rooted on the ground. “We needed to look like we weren’t spying.”

“I know. It was a good cover-up.” Alaska acquiesced, but pushed on. “I’m not mad about it. I’m just… You’re confusing me.”

Alaska took the silence as a hint to continue. “I know you probably read my messages from the other night and knew exactly what I was saying. I’m done hiding it, everyone saw anyway. I told you that I like you because I didn’t want to die having kept it a secret. I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but we’ve now kissed twice and it feels like you’re just fucking with my head. But I know you’re better than that, and you would never intentionally hurt me, right?”

Sharon sighed. The seconds in which Alaska had to wait for a response seemed to stretch out forever, and it was excruciating.

“I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just… trying to make sense of all this.” She looked up, meeting Alaska’s eyes. “I mean, what are you? A colleague? A friend? I don’t know how to navigate this. Ever since that stupid fake date, I mean it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed hanging out with you but…”

“Everything feels different since then.” Alaska finished, and Sharon nodded. “I don’t know how to go about this either. But I have to know if you feel the same when we kiss or if I’m just being strung along. Do you feel anything?”

Sharon swallowed. “I feel everything. I’m just not good at talking about this kind of thing. I always thought romance and dating was embarrassing… I’m terrible at it. My last relationship was three years ago and it ended in this weird stalemate. We weren’t unhappy, we just didn’t feel anything. It was like we wasted two years that we could never get back. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be sure of my feelings when it’s been so long without anything.”

“I don’t know either.” Alaska shrugged. “I just feel a lot when we kiss, and hanging out with you is fun, and I enjoy your company. Even when we’re at work at 3am and you’re stressed and short-tempered and I’m even getting on my own nerves. I still like you even then. I don’t even like Willam then, and I grew up with her.”

Sharon laughed.

“I’m not saying that we should dive right into a relationship or whatever, I just… maybe one day, when you feel more ready, we can take things slow and talk about this more. Because I like you, Sharon.”

In her peripheral vision, Alaska saw a man enter the park and start to wander, casually yet intently, towards the shrubbery when Bennecci had hidden the laptop bag. He stopped as soon as he noticed that he wasn’t alone, glaring straight in their direction.

“He’s here. The buyer,” Alaska hissed, as quickly as she could. “Well, here we go again.”

Their third kiss in a few short days was Alaska’s favourite kind - she had Sharon pressed against the tree trunk, somehow falling into a natural rhythm as though they were made to fit together. Sharon’s hands cupped Alaska’s cheeks, wantonly pulling her closer, needing to feel more of Alaska’s body against her own. Alaska took control of the pace, cracking one eye open to see if the buyer was convinced and then melting back into the embrace. Nothing felt as good as this.

As soon as they heard the rustling of the shrubbery, they broke apart and reached for their guns, aiming them at the buyer who immediately froze in horror and dropped the laptop bag.

“NYPD, freeze!” Sharon yelled. “We’re professionals! You’re under arrest!”

Once he was cuffed and in the awaiting squad car, they received word from Latrice and Jinkx that they had managed to corner and arrest Bennecci too. Back at the precinct, Sharon offered Alaska a tired smile and the weakest high-five they’d ever exchanged.

“Hey… if it’s not too forward, do you want to come over to my place tonight and talk about this? We can try and get on the same page… I like you too, Alaska.”

Alaska smiled, and was surprised at how light she felt inside. “Of course. I’d love to.”

-

They talked. There was more kissing, in the soft light of Sharon’s living room. Then Alaska went home, still reeling from the effects of a kiss goodbye, and spent the whole night lying awake in pure giddiness. 

Sharon lay awake with bright red cheeks, thinking about how she’d shared countless swift stolen kisses with Alaska, who had taken her on a terrible date for an elaborate joke, who always made her laugh, who worked well with her, who was her colleague, who was making her head spin.

There were some ground rules. They would take things slow, try dating without the entire world knowing, keep things light and fun, and not have sex right away. It seemed pretty fair. Also, they were kind of dating. So everything was perfect.

-

Willam was on Alaska’s case immediately. It was a pretty slow day at work, a good chunk of Alaska’s cases solved but with mounds of paperwork still to be completed. As much as Tidicue was fair with assigning cases, Alaska knew that it particularly bothered Latrice when all of the paperwork was undone, so she stayed late and dedicated the day to the world’s most boring task.

It had just hit eleven when she sauntered over to Alaska’s desk. The department had mostly emptied out - Sharon had left about half an hour ago, a wave and a smile her subtle goodbye. It was the perfect scene for an interrogation, apparently, as Willam’s expression was nothing if not scheming.

“Hello, best friend! Got time to talk?” She perched herself on Alaska’s desk, swiping all of the files into the open drawer as she did so. Willam cared very little about her job or anyone else’s, and sometimes Alaska regretted recommending her for the precinct.

Alaska rolled her eyes. “No, Wills, I was very clearly working.”

“But now you’re not!” She shrugged cheerfully. “So you can talk. I want to talk about how you’re definitely fucking Sharon, at the very least friends with benefits but I’m detecting a hint of emotion, so maybe-”

Alaska cut her off before she could continue. “Willam! Fucking hell, not here! We’re trying to keep things on the down-low.”

Willam’s face lit up, delighted. “Say no more! Grab your coat, we’re going to Shaw’s.”

“I have to work!”

As expected, Alaska’s protests fell on deaf ears. “Mhmm, I don’t see any work here. Let’s go drink and talk about your illicit slam-piece. I have some stories of my own to tell you about this hot Australian girl I met at a vegan protest. I was only there to get involved in the tits out kinda vibe, but…”

She was impossible to escape. Before Alaska even knew it, she had been dragged out of the station and into the bar, where Willam promptly ordered two margaritas and continued her story. The Aussie girl was called Courtney, and apparently they had hooked up four times in the space of a week between the hours of 1am-4am. Safe to say, Alaska didn’t hold out hope that she’d be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding anytime soon.

A notification buzzed on Alaska’s phone.

Sharon [to Alaska Thunder]: <3

Alaska had texted earlier to make sure she had gotten home safe. She smiled at the confirmation, and then looked up to find Willam’s disturbingly white, wolfish grin bared in her direction. 

“So… detective on detective action. That’s gotta be a hot porn category, right?”

“You’re such a whore, Wills, oh my god.”

Willam shrugged nonchalantly and sipped her drink. “Come on, sis! I’m dying for some dirty deets on this, you can’t stiff me out! Lowkey always wondered what Sharon’s like in bed, she’s kinda hot. If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to bang her myself.”

The sheer forwardness of it all made Alaska burst into laughter. “Oh my god! You need to slow that libido down. I’ll tell you the bare minimum but it’s not like I have anything to share yet anyway.”

“You… don’t?” Willam looked confused. “I thought y’all were fucking, I could read your vibes and you’re both definitely giving off fucking vibes. I’m never wrong, what gives?”

For some reason, Alaska felt kinda embarrassed. Willam had hated her last girlfriend, who she’d been with for only about six months and broken up with a year ago. The breakup had been swift and painless, but Willam had rejoiced for a week, and ever since then Alaska had wondered if she just had bad taste in women or whether her best friend was an asshole. Needless to say, Willam was definitely an asshole. A loveable asshole, at least. 

“We’re… dating? I guess? We’re taking things slowly, trying it out before we make any big decisions.” Alaska confessed, then turned serious. “Don’t tell any of the squad, okay? We don’t want them knowing until we’re ready… if we get there.”

“Gross!” Willam exclaimed, pushing shots in Alaska’s direction. “I’m kidding, I guess that’s cute. I take it she’s the reason you’ve been wearing that cologne to work that you only wear when you’re trying to attract someone? Don’t think I don’t recognise that scent, bitch, I bought it for you in our senior year and it got you your first girlfriend. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo.”

Alaska laughed. “Sure, yeah, she is. I like her a lot, she’s fun to hang out with. Between you and me…” She paused and lifted her glass. “And these shots… I hope things work out for us. That would be cool.”

She knocked them back and winced. “Your alcohol taste is the worst.”

“Gets ya drunk,” Willam replied. “I wanna get wasted and I wanna fuck someone in this bar. Let’s go.”

-

“Hello?”

“Oh my god, hi! You answered!”

“You called me! Hi, Laska!”

“What’re… what’re you still doin’ awake? I’ve been drinking with Willam!”

“Oh, Willam! I love her!”

“Me too!”

“I’ve been drinking a lil bit too! Where are you?”

“Gonna get in an Uber… too drunk to drive.”

“You should come hang out with me! I’m home ‘cus all my boring friends left!”

“Hey, I will! Bye bye, Tedective Needles!”

-

Alaska rolled over in bed, satisfied, her chest still heaving from exertion. Beside her, laying flat on her back with flushed pink cheeks and lips parted slightly, Sharon offered a smile. She was breathless, shining with sweat, and Alaska noted she was in the exact same state. The first orgasm had been sobering - the second mind-numbing, the third overwhelming, and the fourth rendering them both carefree and exhausted. 

Sharon was so fucking pretty. She made the prettiest noises, wore the prettiest lingerie, and could swirl the prettiest patterns with her tongue.

“We broke a rule.” She breathed, her eyes sparkling as they met Alaska’s.

Alaska pulled Sharon close, pressing their bodies together. “Mmm, yeah. I guess we did.”

The way Sharon’s eyes had darkened at the sight of Alaska in her boxers had sent shockwaves through her entire body, and as she relived the moment in her head, she stroked her hand along the curve of Sharon’s hip.

“It was so worth it.” Sharon grinned. “You are so gorgeous…”

Alaska bit her lip as Sharon started kissing into her neck, careful enough not to mark her skin. Maybe it was her post-orgasm haze, but it seemed to Alaska like this could really work out.

“All you, baby,” Alaska told her, arching her neck to give her some more room. “That’s all you.”

“Be mine, then,” Sharon punctuated each of her words with a kiss. “I don’t give a fuck about anyone else. Just be mine.”

-

There were varying reactions to their decision. Captain Tidicue told them solemnly that under no circumstances would she allow it to interfere with their work performances, then broke into a wide grin and laughed, totally unbothered by the change. Latrice and Chad offered polite congratulations, whilst Sasha and Shea high-fived one another and seemed to be collecting bet money from some of the uniformed officers. As for Jinkx and Willam - while both were ecstatic, they soon fell into a somewhat playful, somewhat serious argument over who had called it first.

(It was probably Jinkx, but Alaska didn’t fancy ruining Willam’s carefully constructed reputation, so she opted to not get involved.)

They were just… dating. And working together. It was fun. Sometimes they would go on cases together, other times separately, and then at the end of their shifts, they might head out on a date somewhere, or other times they’d go home and have mindblowing sex, or other times they’d go home and binge Netflix shows and eat ungodly amounts of ice-cream in their pyjamas.

Sometimes Alaska would look at Sharon in the middle of a mundane task, like washing the dishes in her apartment or bagging some evidence at work, and would wonder how she got so lucky. Then Sharon would voice her exact thoughts directed the other way, and Alaska would be sure that somehow, she had struck gold.

-

Time flew by. Families met families, friends met friends, criminals still committed crimes and they still brought them in, day after day. Action-filled days turned into weeks, which turned into months, and within the blink of an eye, their one year anniversary had started sneaking up on them. It had quite possibly been the best year of Alaska’s life, she thought, even as she walked into work wearing one of Sharon’s embarrassing old Hot Topic t-shirts with her uniform.

“Girl, what happened there?” Shea laughed, nudging Latrice to get a closer look. “Did your emo phase hit you again?”

Alaska laughed sarcastically. “Thanks, Shea, but no. This is Sharon’s monstrosity, not mine.”

“I liked Pierce The Veil,” Sharon shrugged, interjecting. “I don’t see the issue with it.”

“Anyway,” Alaska continued, determined to defend herself for the sake of her own pride, “There was a situation with my clothes last night, and none of them are wearable today.”

Latrice seemed amused, but unconvinced. “You don’t have a drawer full of your shit at this point? You’ve been dating for like, a year.”

“A year today!” Alaska winked, proud that she had memorised the date. “And yeah, I do. Turns out Sharon’s apartment has this antiquated sprinkler system that activates when the fire alarm goes off unexpectedly. It also turns out that I am a great chef, and Sharon is a terrible one.”

Sharon harrumphed. “I prefer ‘culinarily challenged’.”

“You heard it here first, folks, she’s a challenge.” Fully expecting Sharon’s mock-indignant shove, Alaska swiftly stepped out of the way to avoid it and grinned, too amused by herself to even pretend otherwise. Sharon folded her arms, but she was laughing too.

Shea shrugged. “I don’t get why you don’t just move in together. Makes life easier for both of you.”

“We’ve been planning to,” Sharon told her, “We just can’t get past the debate of whose apartment to choose. They both have equal shit points and good points.”

Tidicue stepped out from her office. Alaska wondered for a moment if their Captain was going to weigh in on the debate, but her unusually grave expression was unsettling. Everyone turned to look at her, a foreboding silence filling the room.

“A prison truck just overturned a mile down the road and seven high security prisoners have escaped and are now loose in the city. We need to bring them in as quickly as possible so that no civilians get hurt. Needles pair with Michaels, Thunder pair with Royale. We need to get going, now.”

They all but ran to gear up, studying the files Tidicue had handed them as they did. The crimes ranged from murder to grand larceny to arson, and the prisoners seemed like they were going to be nasty pieces of work. Perhaps it was a little bit unprofessional of her, but Alaska’s excitement for the thrilling task and her competitive nature seemed to rear their heads at the same time.

“That’s so sweet of the Captain to try and involve you two,” She smiled sweetly at Sharon, everyone aware that the playful argument was mainly aimed at her. “As if we’ll need you. Bless her, she really does have a big heart. Anyway, Sarge, I believe we have seven prisoners to single-handedly arrest and bring in?”

Latrice seemed happy to play along, and nodded. They turned towards the door before Sharon stopped them, her arm held straight out in offer of a damning handshake.

“Seven prisoners. Whoever catches the most gets to keep their apartment. Loser moves in with the winner.” Her eyes were gleaming, her own innate desire to be the best rivalling Alaska’s in the best way possible. God, Alaska loved her so much. Her determination almost made her look evil - it was hot.

Alaska shook her hand. “Deal. You’re on, Needles.”

Sharon shrugged noncommittally and sauntered out. “Let’s go, Chad. We got this shit in the bag.”

“Later, bitches!” Chad called after them.

Alaska, for one, was shell-shocked. “Did… did that just happen?!”

“You mean, Detective Michaels calling us ‘bitches’? Yes. Yes it did.” Latrice was equally as baffled. “Okay, we gotta move. You have an apartment to keep.”

It was a day of pure chaos. They remained in contact through their phones and walkie-talkies and signals whenever possible, determined to both ensure everyone had been caught for the safety of the city, and to try and win yet another stupid precinct bet. Latrice and Chad were completely unaffected by the results of the bet overall, and yet it seemed to have highlighted a fierce competitive streak within them both too. Chad was one hundred percent Team Needles, all the way, and Latrice was intent on saving Alaska’s apartment at all costs.

At their third arrest - the escaped arsonist, who they caught digging around in a bin in some dingy alley for discarded lighters - they paged Sharon and Chad, wondering how they were doing. On a police front, they needed to know who to look for and where. On a personal level, this was war. Alaska knew that they’d managed two so far, and their three meant that there was only one prisoner standing between winning or losing the bet.

Chad answered them. “Follow us on GPS, we’re tracking two guys that witnesses saw running together. That is, if we haven’t got them both and won by the time you get here.”

“10-2, copy that.”

Latrice tapped into the GPS on the police van they’d been granted special use of for the manhunt. Their current nemeses were about twenty minutes away, and depending on how long it took them to locate and chase down the prisoners, it could make it or break it.

“Just floor it,” Alaska insisted. “We have to catch these guys. For, uh, the good of the city.”

Latrice snorted derisively. “And for your apartment! Screw impartiality, I’m on your team and we’re going to fucking win.”

They were four minutes away when Chad paged them. “Thunder, Royale, do you read?”

“10-2, what’s going on?” Alaska answered, taken aback by Chad’s abrupt tone. 

“10-38, ambulance needed. Got the prisoners, one of them had a knife on him. Sharon needs help.”

Alaska’s heart leapt into her mouth. “C-Copy that. We’re two minutes away, take the prisoners in. Calling the ambulance now.”

The moment they arrived on scene, Latrice helped Chad move the prisoners into their van, and get them back to the station. Alaska flew to Sharon’s side, where a small group of concerned civilians had flocked around her.

“NYPD, please move out of the way! Fuck, Sharon!”

Somewhat reassuringly, Sharon looked okay. She offered a weak smile and waved limply, her other arm resting on a table as she sat outside one of the random food establishments on the street. One of the civilians quietly explained how she’d used her scarf as a tourniquet to help with the bleeding, and that she’d noted that Sharon seemed otherwise unhurt. Alaska could already hear the ambulances, mere seconds away.

“What happened? How did he…?”

Sharon shook her head. “It was stupid, I don’t know why I didn’t pat him down or anything. We were just cuffing them and he managed to sharply pull his hand away from me, pull out the knife and just slash at random. He couldn’t see what he was doing, I don’t think he even knew if he was gonna get me. I’m alright, but my arm fucking hurts.”

The panic in Alaska’s chest started to settle as the EMTs rushed over. Alaska thanked them for their help and got into the ambulance along with Sharon, which she could tell provided her girlfriend some small comfort. As fearless as she pretended to be, she wasn’t invincible. She held Sharon’s good hand the entire way into the hospital, just in case.

“You won the bet, at least?” Alaska joked, distracting her from the doctors cleaning and bandaging the wound. She was lucky - it wasn’t severe, it hadn’t nicked any main arteries - but it still hurt like a bitch, and Sharon’s face definitely emulated that.

Sharon laughed shortly. “Right. Four arrests to three. Go me!”

“So, I’m moving into your place. This is a pretty big step.”

Even in pain, Sharon had a way of looking mesmerising. At the end of the day, Alaska didn’t even care about the dumb bet. As long as Sharon was okay, it didn’t matter whose place they decided to live at. The point was that they’d be together, and it would be home. Their home.

“No, you’re not.” Sharon conceded, smiling in spite of herself. “We’ll move into yours. The neighbourhood is nicer, and you live right by that really good Chinese place…” She laughed. “Plus, I’m injured, and whatever I say goes until I’m better. Also, you have a bath and shower. That’s fancy as fuck.”

Alaska cracked up. “Okay. Okay, I’m down. Happy anniversary, babe. I’m sure you’ve had a great day.”

Sharon puckered her lips for a kiss, making Alaska laugh before she leaned forward to give in. “And you’ll watch Jeopardy with me tonight? And Return of the Living Dead?”

“Ugh, fine. Yes, I will.”

-

Alaska’s lease expired a year and a half after Sharon moved in with her. After that, they decided to look for somewhere else, and found a nice place that seemed doable on their salaries, in good condition, not too far from work and in a nice area (featuring all of their shared favourite takeaway spots). 

Life felt good. There was everyday mania, like underground drug rings and dirty cops and corruption, but at the end of the day they could retire home knowing they’d done a little good for their home. And once they were home… Alaska loved sharing her life with Sharon.

Sergeant Latrice Royale took the Lieutenant’s exam and passed it on her first try. The squad went out for drinks to celebrate, and Alaska recalled a very drunk karaoke group consisting of their new Lieutenant, herself, Sharon, Willam and bizarrely Captain Tidicue, butchering Wannabe by the Spice Girls as loudly as they could.

Detective Chad Michaels was promoted to Sergeant as the position needed filling. She then announced that she was expecting her second child, and Alaska and Sharon became very very proud god-parents of a little girl called Morgan.

Willam continued to fuck her way through New York with reckless abandon, or so she claimed. Alaska already knew that the wild escapades she kept describing were all with that Courtney girl, who she ended up finally meeting in a bar after six months of wheedling and begging to be introduced to her. She seemed pretty nice.

Detectives Shea Coulee and Sasha Velour were dating. Alaska was baffled at how she somehow had no idea, and upon asking Sharon about it, was met with hysterical, disbelieving laughter and “Babe, you’re the stupidest lesbian I’ve ever met. And I’ve met so many stupid lesbians.”

Detective Jinkx Monsoon remained one of Alaska’s closest friends and biggest supporters of her relationship. She made hints every couple of months, doing her best to be subtle - often pointing out that various dresses she had in her closet would make great bridesmaid outfits if ever they were needed.

Detective Sharon Needles… well, she was laying against Alaska on the couch, both of them spooning and watching some documentary together. She was still the prettiest girl Alaska had ever seen, and according to her, Alaska was and would always be the only woman in the world. In the midst of theorising about an old true crime case and who really did it (“Come on, Lask, I can come up with theories as we’re watching! We’re literally qualified to do that!”) she paused, shuffled onto her back so she could see Alaska properly, and smiled.

“What? What is it? Do you want more popcorn already?” Alaska asked her.

Sharon chuckled. “Nah, not this time. I want to get married.”

“We should go ring shopping, then.” Alaska mused, casual as anything. 

“Yeah, we should.” Sharon agreed.

There was a pause. The documentary kept playing - surprise surprise, the killer was a white male.

“Is that it?” Alaska couldn’t hold in her laughter any longer.

Sharon cackled with her. “Yep, that’s all. We’re engaged now, low effort proposal.”

Another pause. Then she continued, “Of course that’s not it! Come here so I can kiss you senseless and fool you into marrying me.”

-

The ceremony was beautiful. Alaska wore a fitted tuxedo, Sharon wore a white dress, and Alaska realised she’d never seen her fiancée - her wife - in white before.

Jinkx cried a lot. Willam pretended that she didn’t.

The brides barely took their eyes off each other.

“Mrs Needles.”

“Mrs Thunder.”

It felt good to say. It rolled off their lips nicely.

Captain Tidicue officiated, on their request. “You have the right to remain married. You are entitled to kiss the bride.”

So, she did.


End file.
